DHS-psyCOYlogy!

Hi everybody!

haha.. this is my first time blogging here... and i copied this directly from my blog..
so, sorry for my bad language and pathetic spelling kk?...

=) nothing much lar... just some reflection and thoughts on PLTC...

happy reading!...

Heyy.. pltc just ended... learnt alot really. somethings so intangible... but once you understand it, understand the mission and its beliefs, you become part of it. and then the tiredness and pain and muscle crams just fade to the background. the pain gives you strength to move on... and u know that every single moment living this belief you are happy. you run even when you're out of breath because there's Hua Zhou you dont want to let down. it's not about meeting the appointed time anymore; it's about upliving and upholding the beliefs. you dont care about pushing yourself to ur limits because it's not about you that you are working for. it's about everyone else, because everyone works for everyone else and not themsevles too. and then you cry in the night, under that dark dark sky... and ur vision blurs..but you still see the stars shining up there... and you know how you dont want it to end... despite how u r so tired u can sleep while standing... but u listen on.. to what Hua Feng has to say... and then the tears keep coming and then u realise how everything works. and then u know. u grow. and u learn. u run not because u have to prove that you are working hard. u run not because ur seniors are watching you and will pump you if you dont. u run not because that's what everyone is doing and you dont want to lag behind any of them. No. u run because you know if you dont, then somebody else will have to run the extra for u. u run because you know you dont want him or her to have to run for your slack. u run because u love all ur brothers/sisters, and it darn hurts to make them do ur shit for you. u run because u know how much ur seniors and all the others who have been running their lives out during evac love you. u run because u r loved. and love...

so u run. and then after u run, u get so overwhelmed. not with tiredness... tiredness is secondary. but u realise how much strength there is behind all this. when all of you run together... feel pain together and through this pain, smile together. it's brotherhood and sisterhood altogether.

that's why on that night, i understood alot of things. as i sat there, just listening to Hua Feng talk. seriously, i was really going to fall asleep... but i just listened. and every single word made sense. it resonated off me and melted away everything else. it was just the words... i dont even know what they are... too tired to be really concentrating... but he said we did well. that he was proud of us. and then the tears poured down. like a fountain. he said he let us sleep till 8 in the morning... and then, everything was suddenly worth it...

GUides no longer was a cca. it was a movement. a set of beliefs. a mission. and each and everyone of us belonged to it... a legacy.

and after this pltc, we sec3s would be the ones upliving and upholding this legacy. we have promised to do well, and regardless of all the obstacles, we will work hard to try to lead. because it's not easy being a leader. but there's the burden of responsibility. it's no good just being seh individually. no. u must be able to lead others....

leaders, can only truly be leaders, if they lead others to become leaders.

and yes, dear Hua Zhou will be back after his NS...to offer his ah-bang some mint sweet, solid advice and foresight, good old laughter. he said he'd be back from grave if he ever sees our company and troop's standards worsen. He'd be back, he re-assured us... even with his head shaved bald... he'd come back... and it feels good really.

i know graduation is going to hurt. thinking abt it right now hurts anyway... leaders have trained 0thers to become leaders, and after that.. they just graduate away. but they'd never leave us... we still see them inside us.. in the songs we sing, the traditions we keep... because it's a movement. they were already internalised in it, and no one would forget them. this gang of seh big and young brothers and sisters who were always there to help us. to force us to smile when we were already died tired. to pour us honey-water to drink before the campfire began. to say good luck before our pltc started. to make good luck wishes with scraps of aluminum foil on the ground. to tell us their bedtime stories, titled from the book of debriefing, everynight before we go to bed....

yeah... PLTC was fun.
it was memorable, unforgettable.

but more importantly, we all learnt alot. as zhang sheng put it, how to zuo ren zuo shi.

i matured alot. i guess everyone did. ....

... well, not everything's going be easy next time, as we take over to be the leaders, but we know it's going to be worth it. and if it's going to be worth it, then we dont have to worry about whether it'd be difficult.